


Topsy Turvy

by AndreaLyn



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike wakes up blanketed in a fresh snow and bearing Hodr's god spirit. It turns out he's not the only one feeling out of sorts, today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Topsy Turvy

Mike wakes to fresh snow falling around him.

Normally, that would be a thing in itself to marvel at given the fact that it’s currently summer, but the really crazy part about waking up to a sudden snowfall is that it’s happened _inside_. The weirder part is that he isn’t cold, not even a little. He pushes off his sheets and dislodges the snow, grabbing a jacket for appearance’s sake before he heads downstairs to find his bar is full of ice.

It’s also full of people bickering, but Mike doesn’t exactly want to spend much time noticing that.

“Oh good, he’s awake,” Stacey says, raising her brow in lazy amusement from where she sits in the corner of the room. “About time!”

“What are you all doing here?” Mike demands, wondering if this is his recurring nightmare happening all over again where every member of the Johnson family gathers under his roof when he’s trying to get a decent amount of sleep.

And then he remembers, that’s not a recurring nightmare. It’s his life. Mike pulls his coat tighter and reaches over the bar to grab a bottle of booze, only to find that his best Scotch is now a block of ice. Wearily, he glances at Ty and shakes his head. It’s too early to be pissed at his brother, but he’s making it difficult. 

“Can you, I don’t know, spring thaw this place out?”

“I only do cold,” Ty says, a pinched look on his face. “And funny thing is? Ever since I woke up this morning, I don’t do cold at all. Hunting, I can do. Winning games apparently is a breeze,” he says and as he goes on, Mike starts getting a sinking sensation in the pit of his gut as he looks around the room. “I’m pretty sure I woke up and I was Ullr, Mike. Why am I Ullr?”

So the ice and the snow and all things winter are ... him.

Apparently he’s a true winter god now, too. 

“Tell him everything,” Michele insists, a sly grin on her lips.

Mike finally takes the time to look at his bar. The family is there – Olaf in the corner talking with Ingrid in quiet oracle conference – and Zeb is lurking near Axl. Stacey is rolling her eyes at Anders and Michele, who are wearing dual expressions of something that can only be described as the prelude to holy terror. And then it hits Mike and he doesn’t need much explaining at all.

“We switched god spirits,” he says. “All of us.”

“Bang on,” Anders agrees. “I think the rest of them are here to solve this, but I just came for a drink,” he admits, giving Michele a lingering leer that has Mike feeling terrible for goddesses in general. “Seriously, I never really understood just how horny being the goddess of love makes you,” he says, groping Michele’s arse in the process.

Mike glances at her expectantly, wanting the other shoe to drop on this one.

“Yeah,” she draws out the words with smug delight. “I’m Bragi. We’re only here temporarily, but I feel like if we leave now, we’re going to miss the show.”

Mike gestures for the last bottle left that isn’t completely frozen. “Give it here,” he says. “I think I need that more than anyone else.”

Because if every day with the Johnsons is its’ own kind of frustrating, then today looks like it’s going to be one hell of a ride.

***

_Zeb & Olaf / Axl & Ingrid_

“I haven’t been mortal in over seventy years,” Olaf says, stretching out his now-mortal hands and his now-mortal fingers and staring at the universe around him. The only thing of it is that he’s smoked a hell of a lot of weed, so he still feels vaguely like he’s floating and immortal. Besides, apart from the mornings of rebirth and any epic oracle moments, he’s vaguely mortal anyhow.

Zeb, however, doesn’t seem to be taken things to lightly. Olaf told him he should’ve blazed with them before this went down. It makes it a lot smoother.

“So?” Axl asks, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans in. “What’s it like?” he asks of Zeb. “Knowing shit?”

“Honestly, it’s not very different,” Zeb says, staring at Olaf with something like newfound disappreciation. It’s as if he’s found out how very little Olaf actually does. “Most of what I find out is stuff I already knew. Being an oracle sucks,” he complains.

Ingrid looks up from her vodka tonic and gives a quick hum of agreement. “Agreed,” she says.

“I don’t know, it’s pretty noisy in here,” Axl says, tapping his head. “Between the oracle shit and all the planning. I feel like I should be making notes about how to throw decent parties and how to find Frigg and also how to knit?”

Ingrid nods knowingly. “It comes in handy when you need a scarf.”

“Also, how to make a pipe bomb?” Axl goes on, growing fearful. 

“Very helpful, too, when you’re in a pinch.”

Zeb and Axl exchange a look that says that oracles are suitably to be feared, but only when there’s a bit of planning involved. Otherwise, there’s just a whole lot of drugs involved and not much happens at all.

“I feel strong,” says Ingrid. “We should go drink things and see how much I can do.”

“I really don’t need a planner’s mind to know that’s a bad idea,” Axl says, but he also knows that he’s well and truly outnumbered given how eager Zeb, Olaf, _and_ Ingrid look about the plan. He sighs and signals to Mike that they’re heading off in the well-established family signal of ‘if I die, know it was probably in the course of doing something stupid and ill-advised’ before he’s trailing after the three of them from the bar. 

***

_Ty & Mike_

“It’s a change, not being frigid,” Ty says, but there’s something on his face that says that he misses it. Or maybe it’s just that it’s ten degrees below what it ought to be in the bar and Ty’s missing when he didn’t feel the cold. “You did all this overnight?”

“Apparently. It’s sort of different when you’re Ullr,” Mike advises. “When you get powered up, you just tend to...find things. Win games.”

“It must be _so_ hard for you,” Ty replies, dripping with irritated disdain. “Being able to win so much money and find anything you want.”

Mike felt no remorse whatsoever reaching out to cuff Ty and send him stumbling forward a little. “You should really stop taking lessons from Anders in being a little shit,” he warns, poking a finger in Ty’s face. “We need to figure out how to fix this and if you are Ullr, god of the hunt, you might be one of our best bets for finding an answer since...” He presses his lips tightly together. “Right, the oracles and the idiots just left the bar,” he says, glancing sideways to where Michele and Anders look to be even less help. “I’m going to be Hodr forever,” Mike says, shaking his head.

“That misery settles in nicely, don’t worry,” Ty promises. “I know it feels a bit like a panic attack, but it’s actually just your sense of hope freezing over.”

“Were you always this pessimistic?” Mike mutters under his breath.

“Only after my very special 21st birthday present from the universe.”

***

_Michele & Anders_

“You first,” she coaxes, tongue running over her lower lip as the pleasure practically radiates from every pore of her body.

“No, you,” Anders replies.

They’ve been in this standstill since they got to the bar. Neither of them has used the others’ powers, but they want to. It’s singing within their beings and Anders wants to try out a little bit of the goddess of love’s power and Michele clearly wants to use golden words on someone, but with everyone else so busy, it falls to them.

“It’s almost a shame that Mike’s going to want to reverse this,” Michele confesses. “I could get used to being Bragi.”

“And I wouldn’t mind being Sjofn,” Anders replies in turn, given that the goddess of love gig would pretty much work out well enough for him. Sure, he might have a lot more clients in love with him than falling prey to his pretty words, but the end result is the same. “You think maybe I could talk him around into something that would distract him from trying to undo everything?”

Michele picks up on the idea, grinning wickedly. “If your way doesn’t work, then I get to try mine.”

And, as one, they move towards Mike with a compromise as to who’s going to use their powers first and in which direction.

***

_Stacey & ..._

Stacey has been sitting in the corner while everyone apparently loses their minds. Axl, Ingrid, Olaf, and Zeb are long gone. Michele and Anders are doing some weird tag-teaming thing on Ty and Mike, and she’s left in the corner with a secret. It’s a big secret, one that she’s not ready to give up just yet. She knows exactly whose powers she has.

Not that she’s ready to show them, yet.

After all, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.

She sips at her scotch and feels the pleasant burn to her fingertips, smirking when she hears the door to the bar open and a new visitor walks in. She rises to her feet, rolling her shoulders back as she closes the distance between her and the useless (and fearful, in Ty and Mike’s case) group at the bar. She signals to the newcomer, rapping on the bar with her knuckles. “About time you got here, Colin,” Stacey greets with a wicked smirk. “Now, how about you pop behind the bar and serve your greater gods.”

Colin looks murderous, but he does exactly as he’s told (much to the delight of the rest of the gods and goddesses in the room).

“Oh, I need a picture of this,” Michele murmurs.

“Fuck the picture, we need video,” Anders says, and they go scrambling to find something that will record for eternity that Colin Gunderson is doing as he’s told.

Stacey sits opposite him the whole time, smirking as Colin pours her a shot that she lights on fire with a simple snap of her fingers. Subservient with his head bowed down and pliant in everything he does, Colin makes a wonderful servant.

“Don’t worry,” Stacey assures Mike. “I won’t abuse him too much.”

“Good,” Mike replies. “I’d hate to be robbed of a piece of the action.”

“You will all pay for this,” Colin warns under his breath.

“Then we'd better make the most of it while we have the chance,” says Ty. 

And _oh_ , how they do (but that's a story for a day when Colin isn't making them pay for it in full, with interest)


End file.
